ecosystem

I'm sad I want a friend who's not a damn inmate to talk to Its sucks in a way that maybe you don't get I don't know Its like if all your friends were from work Or like if all your friends are people you are friends with just because of drugs Or if everyone you knew was from the same small town Its not that inmates don't necessarily understand you its like, the opposite I want to talk to someone from a nicer world than the one I live in Somebody who talking to them, you feel in control because you're more savvy than they are . Not necessarily a housie but Its not that people in prison are necessarily threats , but its like ... They are still a part of that ecosystem. Everything people do in prison has a meaning, I watch , categorize , assess. Automatically. And that's okay, but ... I want to talk to someone whose problems are trivial to me . I want to vicariously enjoy that blissful world they live in. Someone who hasn't been dipped in the sludge that me and everyone I know reeks of. Maybe if I talk to someone like that, I can recapture that feeling. I wouldn't have to feel so angry if they disrespect me I wouldn't have to care if they lie or not They don't know the answers to anything so I don't need to ask Nothing to worry about really ...