Enjoy your heart attack and micro plastic riddled gonads

get some spaghetti noodles SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGETT put oil on the dry spaghetti and fry it in the microwave until its brown you should break the noodles in half first dump it into a bowl with hot water in it, hot water with hoisin sauce or curry or whatever, it makes a cloud of steam reconstitute some vegetable flakes with hot water so that you have enough like a cup and a half meanwhile when the noodles are soft enough to load them into a sealable empty instant rice bag, put them in there and then pour in the broth stuff they were in, so that the bag is full to the top with noodles, and some of the broth seal the bag now with a tiny opening so that the noodles steam up in there now cook the reconstituted veg flakes with oil in the microwave until they fry to being a little brown or crispy next, get an empty popcorn bag and a thing of mackerel or fish in brine or oil like a pouch or can or whatever dry the fish off by squeezing it in paper towels break it up in shreds to shreds you say ? now put some oil or fake butter and the fish into the popcorn bag roll the bag up with the fish inside it and microwave it until it fries crispy If you dry it properly , and roll up the bag , this won't smell fishy Now mix the fish with the fried noodles and some sweet chili sauce or something and top it with the fried vegetable flakes voila takeout lo mein